Surprise! Surprise!

The founder of a new religion asked the great French diplomat, Talleyrand, for advice on how to make converts. Talleyrand said, “I should recommend that you get yourself crucified, and then die. But be sure to rise again on the third day.”

Suppose you turned on your TV this morning and heard Dan Rather deliver the following “Special Report,” via satellite, from Jerusalem:

This morning, in the Holy City, a shocking announcement was made that a body, positively identified as that of Jesus Christ, was found in a long-neglected tomb just outside the city limits. Rumors had been circulating all week that a very important discovery had been made. But this mind-boggling news far outstrips anything we had imagined. The initial reaction of Christians around the world has been a mixture of bewilderment and disbelief. No official Church pronouncements have been made as yet, but there are reports of urgent closed-door meetings being held all over the world. We will just have to…