HAIRCUT NEEDED The Rabbi told me about a man who got up to leave during his service. "Where are you going?" he asked him. He said, "To get a haircut." The Rabbi asked, "Why didn't…
Sermon Illustrations
THE WEDDING GAMBLE The Rabbi told me he has very strict morals - He would rather not perform a wedding ceremony. I asked, "Why? - What has that got to do with morals?" He explained,…
NO THANK YOU NOTES Temple Sinai is proud of their Rabbi with his great sense of humor and love: "It is more blessed to give than to receive - and besides - you don't have…
PRICELESS VALUE It was a veteran group of summer camp counselors at MICHI-LU-CA that year who decided to create a different kind of 'super-vesper' for the fourth-sixth grade week. (A 'super-vesper' was the final night's…
CRITICIZING Two taxidermists stopped before a window in which an owl was on display. They immediately began to criticize the way it was mounted. Its eyes were not natural; its wings were not in proportion…
A POEM And it came to pass-- Early in the morning Toward the last day of the Semester, there arose a Multitude, Smiting the books And wailing. And there was much weeping And gnashing of…
COSTLY CATCH Two men from Minnesota went fishing up in Canada. They only caught one fish so when they got back, one of them said, "I figured out that fish cost us $400." "Well," said…
LUCKY BOSS "You know," said Olle, "I got a real good reference from de boss at my last yob." "Really?" said Sven. "Ya, he wrote -- 'if you get Olle to verk for you, you'll…
PRICE OF EXPERIENCE When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money. And the person with the money will get experience. By Leonard Lauder, president of…
SHORT SHOTS ASSERTIVENESS "The man who is waiting for something to turn up, might start with his shirt-sleeves."
SHORT SHOTS PROMISES "Vows made in storms are forgotten in calms."
SHORT SHOTS MISTAKES "He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery."
SHORT SHOTS PARENTING "You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn into heroes, even if just in your own eyes."
SHORT SHOTS HAT "A hat is something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, and the politician talks through."
SHORT SHOTS COMMUNICATION "We live in a society where everyone talks, nobody listens and all bewail the fact they are not understood."
MUTUAL RECOGNITION My brother found an old Mize Outlook (date July 6, 1905) in a shop he has in Mize, Mississippi. Here is a story from it: A man was traveling by train to Nashville…
JUST CAN'T CATCH UP As our church observed the annual ritual of presenting flowers on Mother's Day, we first gave a carnation to the newest mother. Next we gave a flower to the mother with…
A DIFFERENT PLACE TO GO! Two fathers were discussing how each of their sons was doing in college. One father said, "My son is so smart that when he writes home I have to go…
MARRIAGE IS TOO MUCH WORK The pastor of a big city church ran an ad for a caretaker-housekeeper. The next day, a well-dressed young man appeared at the pastor's door. But before he could say…
TOO FULL A QUIVER Back in the days when fathers-to-be didn't go into the delivery room, a pastor went to visit one of his men whose wife was in labor. As he sat with his…
