POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS FAT PERSON: Larger-than-average citizen. DEATH: Failure to fulfill one's wellness potential. Best new definitions from: The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, by Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf
Sermon Illustrations
BAD BOOKS Last year, the Texas educational bureaucracy recently reviewed and approved a new set of textbooks for the public school system. A group of parents, concerned about the information their children were coming home…
BUNGLED BURGLARY Carlos Carrasco, 24, was sentenced to 10 year's probation in San Antonio for a bungled burglary of a liquor store. According to records, Carrasco cut his hand badly when he broke through the…
THE PROBLEM WITH EVANGELISM Calvin Miller remembers calling on a rather large lady. In fact she was so large he wasn't sure whether they had built her trailer house around her, or she had been…
CHOCOLATE ADVANTAGE A Princeton Dental Research Center report said chocolate is actually beneficial in fighting plaque and cavities. Before you get all excited, further investigation showed that 90% of the funds for this particular study…
LIMITED HOSPITALITY Treat your guest as a guest for two days; on the third day give him a hoe. Swahili proverb
THE MARRIAGE PRIZE Winky Ryatt walks in and sees mom and dad hugging and asks, "Daddy, why are you always hugging Mommy?" Dad says, "I'm showing my affection for her, Winky! I really got a…
ALMOST FREE Freedom is being able to do what you please without considering anyone except your wife, the police, your boss, your life insurance company, your doctor, your airline, federal and state authorities, and your…
SAY IT SLOWLY One day I accompanied my husband to the Pima Indian Reservation and strolled around looking at the scenery while he repaired a tractor. To my amazement I found a stone used for…
A LAWYER'S MAXIM The big print giveth, The small print taketh away!
LIVING BELOW YOUR MEANS Curly was a pig farmer. He was different. Curly never washed - either himself or his clothes. Some folk reckoned that when he went to bed, his trousers would stand in…
PLANTING FOR GROWTH If you are planting for one year, grow rice. If you are planting for 20 years, grow trees. If you are planting for centuries, grow men. Chinese Proverb, Leadership Quotes
WAITING OR WISHING It may be difficult to wait on the Lord, but it's worse to wish you had. Anonymous author
FULL OR EMPTY? A full stomach says: "A ripe guava has worms." An empty stomach says: "Let me see." A Creole Proverb, from Karen Burton Mains, The Fragile Curtain, David C. Cook Publishing Company, Elgin,…
AN UNFORTUNATE HERO ( Atlanta) -- Bill Gulley was at the right place at the right time. - Twice. He saved the lives of two people in three days. He rescued a co-worker who was…
ECOLOGY TALK "It's amusing. Much of the talk about ecology is done by college students who haven't yet figured out how to clean their rooms." By Jeanne Robertson, from Quote, Vol. 85, No. 13, July…
PUSHING EIGHTY When the doctor asked what I did for exercise I said pushing eighty is exercise enough!
POLITICAL ECONOMY "Political Economy" are two words that need a divorce on grounds of incompatibility!
THE WAY THEY USED TO Another thing they don't make like they used to is "people" who can fix 'em like they used to! All three of the above illustrations
THE FATHER PACE Like race cars and the orchestra, a family needs someone to set the pace and the tempo. When the pace has been properly fixed, the pace car gets out of the way;…
