SLEEPY SERMONS A pastor was getting frustrated with the number of his congregates who would fall asleep during his sermons. He told his frustration to other pastors who suggested that he tape his next sermon…
Sermon Illustrations
CARDS & THE BIBLE This is a story about a soldier in the North Africa Campaign in World War II. After heavy fighting, the man returned to camp. The next day being Sunday, the Chaplain…
PAYING FOR THE LAST SUPPER The Sunday School teacher asked her class, "What did Jesus and the disciples do when they finished the Last Supper? One young fellow in the class reluctantly answered, "They asked…
CATHOLIC DEFINITIONS AMEN: The only part of prayer everyone knows. BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people whose…
BEST & WORST JOBS What are the best and worst jobs? An attempt to answer this question is the basis of the book Jobs Rated Almanac, by Les Krantz. The book analyzes data from the…
BABIES & TURNING A man was complaining to his wife, "It seems that every time I turn around, we are having another baby!" His wife answered, "Then stop turning around."
COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL MARTYRS Two teen-aged gunmen at Columbine High School shot students they knew were Christians. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold also went after athletes and minority students, and some of their victims appeared…
WHEN GOD OVER-ANSWERS An Italian woman consulted her priest about her inability to conceive. Her priest assured her to rest in the comfort that he was going to Rome for ten years and would light…
TED TURNER ON TEN COMMANDMENTS "If you're only going to have ten rules, I don't know if adultery should be one of them." said Media magnate Ted Turner, suggesting that the Ten Commandments be revised.…
HALF-HEARTED CONFESSION A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to the local priest. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War II I hid a Jew in…
KEEP FROM RUNNING WILD The laws of physics suggest our need for cooperation and teamwork--our need for one another. One such law of entropy states that if any system is given to itself, it will…
DAD'S FAVORITE WIFE A little boy was telling his teacher about his mother: "She fixes good food, she takes us places and she helps us . . . and she's my dad's favorite wife!"
CHOOSING SIDES CAREFULLY The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!" The…
ODE TO VOLUNTEERS Ode to Volunteers Many will be shocked to find When the day of judgment nears That there's a special place Set aside for volunteers Furnished with big recliners, Satin couches and footstools.…
WISE WOMAN Of all the ways the book of Proverbs might have ended it is significant that it end with a life picture of a woman. The theme of the book is all about wisdom;…
BIRTHDAY CHOIR A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the…
LET JESUS WASH YOUR FEET John White, in The Pathway to Holiness, explains the significance of self-examination. "Life in a sinful world inevitably brings defilement. It is not the defilement of mere contact with sinful…
KERYGMA STUDY GUIDE LESSONS Speaking of Prayer: Christians understand prayer as that approach to God in which both God and humans retain their essential natures--God as Creator and humans as creatures. God is holy, different…
GODHOOD OF GOD From every pulpit in the land it needs to be thundered forth that God still lives, that God still observes . . . still reigns. Faith is now in the crucible, it…
I SAW JESUS I saw Jesus last week. He was wearing blue jeans and an old shirt/. He was up at the church building; He was alone and working hard./For just a minute he looked…
