MORE ANSWERS FROM CHILDREN � The equator is an imaginary lion that runs around the world forever. � An appendix is something you find in the back of a book. But if it gets in…
Sermon Illustrations
NOT DADDY'S DAUGHTER When someone asks our neighbor's little girl what her name is, she acquired the habit of replying, "I'm Mr. Johnson's daughter." That irritated her mother to no end, so the mom sat…
ONE WAY RELIGIOUS VIEWS People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. -- Reverend McWallclock
GO GET YOUR OWN DIRT One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and…
PURIFIED SILVER Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a…
BASKIN' ROBINS Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew to the ground and found…
QUALIFIED TO COMPLAIN When reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the flight attendant for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get…
SCIENCE PHRASES The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or…
EMOTION IN MOTION Sex is emotion in motion. -- Mae West
THINGS MY KIDS TAUGHT ME: J It's more fun to color outside the lines. K If you're gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch. J Ask why until you understand. J Save…
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL There is a story set in King Arthur's court. A pure knight is forced to marry an ugly woman over a point of honor. As they lie together on…
INDENTIFYING DRIVERS Here is how to identify where a driver is from: 1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago. 2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York. 3. One…
PRESIDENTIAL OPINIONS I have opinions of my own-strong opinions-but I don't always agree with them. -- U. S. President George Bush C. Richard Stone
{advance d 4 | }JUST CHECKING IN A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray. Just then the…
GATHERING NUTS There was a huge pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the…
IN YOUTH AND AGE In youth we learn; With age we understand. A quote from "Inside the NFL" on November 11, 1999
QUICK STOP AT VICTORIA STATION A man who was traveling on a train asked the ticket collector what time the train would stop at Victoria Station. "This train doesn't stop at Victoria, it's the express."…
HUMMINGBIRD LESSONS "Into everyone's life some rain must fall," so the song goes. How many sermons have I preached on what it means to live rain-lashed lives? How many times have I lectured in painstaking…
MOVE THE ROCK A woman told the following parable at the end of what one suspects was a long day of meetings: Now all of you nice ladies just imagine that you lived in a…
YOU KNOW MY VOICE I was in the shower when I heard the door to the bathroom open. I quizzically said, "Who's there?" I heard a small voice said, "Your son." I have two sons--a…
