SLOW BOAT TO ICE FISHING There were a couple of fellows from Alabama who loved to fish. They had heard that ice fishing was a great sport, and they wanted to give ice fishing a…
Sermon Illustrations
SAND SMUGGLER A man rode up to the border on his bicycle with two large bags. The border patrol stopped the man to check his bags. The bags contained sand. The border guards were confused…
TOO MUCH IMPROVEMENT A husband and wife met with a marriage counselor about their irrevocable differences. The husband explained, "Ever since we were married, my wife has set out to change me. She convinced me…
LUCKY SAUCER An art dealer was walking through a city when he noticed a mangy old cat that was lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. As he continued to walk,…
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SURE TO GET YOUR DOG BACK A clever store owner opened two stores right next to each other. One was a veterinary shop, the other a taxidermist shop. Over the two doors he had this…
DECENCY IS UP TO US "At the moment of conception," says the Talmud, "an angel takes a drop of semen from which the child will be formed, and brings it before God. 'Master of the…
GOD'S GUARANTEE Some grocery stores, in order to build up the confidence of their customers, offer "Double your money back" guarantees. If you don't think the quality of what you bought was acceptable, you just…
GROCERY STORE EMPLOYEES If you went into the local grocery store and started stocking their shelves, that would not make you an employee. It might get you some strange looks or even an invitation to…
Y2K VACATION PAY Just when you thought Y2K had come and gone away, we have received this memo. This was a memo that went out to one fortunate employee who was willing to tell us.…
PRIMING THE GULLY A man was driving on a dirt road and became bogged down in a gully that was filled with mud. Moments after he got stuck, a farmer rode by in his tractor.…
TOUGH TRAVEL POLICY Editor's Note: I have seen several versions of this travel policy. A friend of mine gave this to me at a travel management meeting a few years ago. It's a bit extreme…
RECURSIVE PARADOX Epimenides--seventh century B.C.--once made a long pilgrimage to meet Buddha. (Editor's Note: I am not sure how he did that since Buddha probably lived in the sixth century B.C.) When he finally met…
REDEMPTION PURCHASED There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and…
SYMBOLS OF WORSHIP A kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something to class related to their faith. At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of…
ANOTHER HOME I came across this letter that was written to Charles Fuller when he had the Old Fashioned Revival Hour after Charles mentioned that he would speak the next Sunday on Heaven. It was…
HEARING CONFESSIONS The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions . . . The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the…
DOGGIE SIREN A man saw a boy who was riding a wagon with his dog pulling the wagon with a metal choker chain around his tail. Upon closer observation, the man saw that the metal…
LONG-TERM ASSISTANCE Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you can sell him a rod.
EXTRA GOLF PANTS A man was golfing with his buddies. He reached into his bag for a club, and an extra pair of pants fell out of the bag. His friends were curious why an…
SEEKER-FRIENDLY OR SPIRIT-FRIENDLY As God redefines the Church, it is highly likely that the Church that emerges from the cloud of His glory will look very different from what you and I think the Church…
