NINE VITAL SIGNS OF TRUE LIFE Steven Lawson writes: "In the First Epistle of John he gives us nine vital signs of true life that bring assurance: 1. Communion with God; 2. Confession of sin;…
Sermon Illustrations
JEWISH PASSOVER Right down to the present, Jews reenact the Passover-event in celebration of their redemption from Egypt . . . In this service, words are connected with ritual, symbol, and gesture. It is a…
ILLEGAL CRUCIFIXION OF CHRIST 1. Must begin with reasons for acquittal [None given]. 2. Must argue for acquittal, not conviction [Yet all the arguments were for conviction] 3. Trial must be held in the daytime.…
INVITE THEM TO DANCE Remember the first dance you ever went to. I was in the seventh grade. I thought it was going to be so much fun, I could hardly wait to get there.…
LEAVE SPRING TO GOD A boy about nine years of age was out riding with his mother on Palm Sunday afternoon after having attended a very beautiful service in the morning. As they passed through…
THE OTHER SIDE Two hikers were exploring a rugged valley with a large river running through it. The hikers split up for a while and explored the area separately. When they returned to their point…
20/20 BLINDNESS The physician was performing a complete eye physical, including the visual acuity test. The doctor placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." The…
DEMONSTRATING THE KINGDOM Rich Joyner, in his book A Prophetic Vision for the 21st Century, writes: Because of the problems with incoming flights and other delays, the line to one connection had grown to many…
WHY LOCKERS ARE NEEDED A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. It went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I…
MOVIE INDEX The Movie Index, a company that keeps track of profanity in movies, has found that the movie, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, has more profanity per minute than any other of the…
STRENGTH IN WISDOM The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the…
WALKING WITH JESUS When Jesus went down in the waters of the Jordan guided by John's rough hands, he did so in solidarity with sinners. Jesus' baptism was a demonstration of his obedience to God,…
ABSTRACT DEFINITIONS Suggestion: read the phonetizations. Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney uh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette urn'-a-det: The act…
WHEN SUNDAY SCHOOL IS FREE Bobby returned home from Sunday School eating a candy bar. His mother had given Bobby just enough money for the offering, so she inquired, "Where did you get that candy…
JUST ADJUST THE SAILS The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
OLD HOCKEY INJURY A man came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers noticed and asked him what had happened. The man answered, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury…
HUNG UP TO DRY After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file…
TEE TIME FOR THE GROOM They stood at the altar, waiting to be married. The bride to be looked down and saw a set of golf clubs beside her new husband's feet. "What on earth…
MALE UPGRADE One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said. The man thought…
NOT ALL THINGS EQUAL Bill was an excellent golfer who had a few extra hours one afternoon. He decided that if he hurried, he could probably squeeze in nine holes of golf before he had…
