ALLIGATORS & OYSTERS Admiring an Indian's necklace, a lady tourist finally asked, "What are those things?" "Alligator teeth, ma'am." came the reply. "Oh, I see. I suppose they have the same value for your people…
Sermon Illustrations
READY TO HAVE KIDS? MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. TOY TEST Obtain a 55 gallon box of…
ANDY ROONEY OBSERVATIONS No matter what you might feel about Andy Rooney, many of his sayings make a lot of sense: I've learned.... that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of…
DIFFICULT PARENTING "Children are hard to raise if you think about it." -- Unknown
EXTENSIVE POVERTY More than a billion people in the world live on less than one dollar per day. Every six seconds a child dies because of hunger. As a result of famine, war and natural…
COACH BROWN IN TOWN When Larry Brown was the coach of the San Antonio Spurs basketball team, he spent an afternoon at a local men's store signing autographs. He spent more than the allotted two…
SHE WAS A PERSON Ruth Tucker writes about Kana, a woman from Irian Jaya, who was speaking to a large group of women from her district. "When the gospel came to us Dani people, we…
CORRUPTION IN POLITICS David Wilkerson in his book America's Last Call quotes a "liberal politician"--he didn't give his name--who said: "America is racing toward ruin! Our country is morally crippled. Any thinking citizen can see…
CONSISTENT CHILDREN "Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next." -- Franklin P. Jones
I LEARNED THESE THINGS The writer of these observations is my older brother Steve who was born in 1951. These are the things I have learned since I was young... Age 2: Brand new Craftsman…
ACHIEVEMENT MAXIMS "Quit while you're ahead." That's tried-and-true advice. But did you know it goes all the way back to Baltasar Gracian, a Jesuit scholar who lived in Seventeenth Century Spain? As military chaplain and…
WISH YOU WERE HERE A friend of mine once sent me a postcard with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
PRAYING IN GOD'S WILL Every prayer we offer is not necessarily answered exactly as we desire it to be. Were this the case, it would mean that we would be dictating to God, and prayer…
HOLINESS OR ELOQUENCE Thomas Kempis' warning: "At the day of judgment, we shall not be asked what we have read, but what we have done; not how eloquently we have spoken, but how holy we…
ECONOMIC EMPLOYMENT Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
TINY TURTLE EARS Did you ever wonder why Turtle Wax is expensive? Perhaps it is because turtles have such tiny little ears.
DRIVING THROUGH TEXAS Two men are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the…
CELEBRATE THE MOMENTS Enjoy every moment. In the end, you'll realize that there weren't enough of them.
GUEST OF DISHONOR A man was invited to a wedding reception with a friend. He didn't know anyone there so he played the role of an observer, watching the feasting and singing. As an observer,…
TRUE PHILOSOPHY It is a great advantage for a system of philosophy to be substantially true. -- George Santayana
