SEVEN DAY ABSENTIST Question: What do you call someone who does not attend church? Answer: A seven day absentist. Adapted from a submission by John Fitts, Palm Harbor, Florida
Sermon Illustrations
BEGINNING OR ENDING Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
GOD'S IRONING The trials of our faith are like God's ironing. When the heat of trials are applied to our lives, the wrinkles of spiritual immaturity begin to be smoothed out.
BIBLE HABIT Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
COMFORTABLE DISCIPLES Soren Kierkegaard was an influential Danish philosopher and a tireless critic of the corrupt state church. In one of his pieces, he wrote: I went into church and sat on the velvet pew.…
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY POLITICS A politician was speaking to a large gathering: "So, in conclusion," he proclaimed, "My opponent has been lying to you and stealing you blind for eight long years. Now, it's time to…
BAD NEWS- -GOOD NEWS--BAD NEWS The pastor stood before his congregation and made the following announcement: "Folks, I have bad news and good news and bad news. The bad news: We need immediate repairs for…
GRAB A BRUSH, GOVERNOR William Brandon, governor of Alabama, was touring a psychiatric care center in Tuscaloosa. He came across a patient who was painting a barn. The patient asked the governor who he was.…
ALL YOU CAN John Wesley was preaching his famous sermon on stewardship. The first point was "Make All the Money You Can" and a well-to-do farmer in the church as a deacon said, "Amen." The…
WHAT WE ARE DOING We celebrate Christ in worship, We honor Christ in our work, We reveal Christ in our walk, witness and fellowship, We instruct persons for discipleship and ministry, We serve persons in…
MOST THANKFUL FOR Americans were most thankful last Thanksgiving for their families and their health. In a telephone survey of over one thousand randomly selected Americans, a Gallup Poll asked them to name the two…
GOBBLE PROPHECY Gobble, gobble, gobble, "Ain't it odd," you say, The only word the turkey knows to say, Precurses his fate on the tray. By Steve Hodgin, taken from The Hodgin Herald, November 9, 1996,…
COMPARATIVE THANKFULNESS Eight-year-old Tommy was invited to a neighbor's home for supper. The neighbor asked little Tommy, "Are you sure you can cut your meat, Tommy?" Tommy answered, "Oh yes, thank you. We often have…
NOBLER DOG If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -- Mark Twain
NOT A TURKEY It was the week of the Thanksgiving holiday, and the teacher asked her kindergarten students, "Tell me something you have to be thankful for?" One young child said, "I'm thankful I'm not…
EVERYDAY THANKSGIVING Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings each morning, Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are those who are deaf. Even though I keep my eyes…
PERSONAL THANKSGIVING In his book Who Needs God? Harold Kushner tells of a man who always wrote "thank you" in the lower left-hand corner of the checks he wrote to the grocer, the phone company,…
ANOTHER THANKSGIVING Here is an excerpt from a letter to the editor of the Los Angeles Times that gives a somewhat naturalistic view of Thanksgiving: "So it's Thanksgiving. What a misnomer! Just what is an…
Attitude | Communication | Encouragement | Generosity | Gratitude | Humility | Thanks | Thanksgiving
GRATITUDE'S ATTITUDES Express gratitude generously and sincerely; receive gratitude humbly and graciously; expect gratitude rarely, if ever. -- William Arthur Ward
TIME FOR A DIET You know you need to go on a diet when a child runs up to you while you are watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and ask you where your float…
