Humor Archives - Page 106 of 167

Birthdays | Discipline | Humor | Husbands | Marriage | Memory | Men | Remembering | Wives | Women

MEMORY TECHNIQUE The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. From Steve Morrison

Deceit | Grace | Heaven | Humor | Justice | Marriage | Revenge | Spelling

SPELL GRACE & LIVE After a very long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she

Attitude | Authority | Business | Character | Employees | Employers | Humor | Jobs | Labor

JOB THOUGHTS Things you wish you could say at work: I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce. How about never? Is never good

Business | Communication | Humor | Jobs | Labor | Money | Priorities | Salaries | Time | Wages

AMAP The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. “I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning “as

Blame | Excuses | Golf | Humor | Marriage | Responsibility | Sports | Teams | Unity

SHARED BLAME Husband and wife were playing in the mixed foursomes. He hit a great drive down the middle – she sliced the second shot into a copse of trees.

Appearance | Appearances | Failure | Food | Health | Humor | Mistakes | Understanding

KENTUCKY JELLY A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?” “It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t get used to

Appearance | Appearances | Care | Health | Hospitals | Humor | Nurses | Perceptions | Perspective | Understanding

ONE-SEATER BATHROOM A nurses’ aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed, “You’re not coming in here with me. This is only a one-seater!”

Consequences | Humor | Justice | Law | Revenge | Submission

PICTURE THIS A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket

Bias | Blondes | Excuses | Explanations | Humor | Men | Prejudice | Reasons | Women

TOO MUCH TO EXPLAIN A man is by himself in a movie theater and is waiting for the movie to start. He leans over to a large woman who happens

Deceit | Errors | Failure | Humor | Justice | Knowledge | Mistakes | Sin | Stealing | Theft

WHEN CRIME PAYS TOO MUCH The annual Darwin Awards are always a fun way to realize there are people more stupid than the rest of the human race which probably

Art and Music | Commitment | Communication | Humor | Music | Promises | Puns | Words

I’LL BE BACH A group of action hero movie stars were going to play in a movie that highlighted famous musicians. They were trying to decide which star would play

Character | Childishness | Compassion | Humor | Marriage | Maturity | Men | Women

IMMATURE WIFE Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath, and she’d come in and sink my boats. — Woody Allen

Baby-sitters | Children | Christ | Church | Humor | Incarnation | Jesus | Understanding

BABY-SITTER FOR JESUS A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: “They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.”

Character | Danger | Family | Fear | Humor | Labor | Mother | Mothers | Police

BACKUP FOR MOM A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”

Blondes | Ethnicity | Fear | Humor | Logic | Reasons | Stress | Understanding | Women | Worry

UPSTAIRS BLONDES Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides

Airlines | Communication | Guidance | Humor | Misc | Puns | Rules | Travel

VULTURE AIRLINES Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Care | Communication | Conflict | Humor | Misc | Pests | Puns | Sickness

NASTY BUG A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately

Ailments | Communication | Drivers | Health | Humor | Labor | Puns | Worry

COMMUTER AILMENT A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern City and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and

Commitment | Exercise | Fitness | Health | Humor | Perseverance | Reward

FOLLY OF FITNESS My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where she is. The only reason I would

Character | Desire | Food | Humor | Logic | Requests | Understanding | Women

BETTER CANDY One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love