WIFE HOLDS NO HOPE A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the examination, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “Unless you do the following things, […]
Anger | Assistance | Chores | Humor | Marriage | Responsibility | Risk | Sacrifice Read More »
CLOCK ON THE PULPIT In a church, a minister announced that if the church reached a certain fund-raising goal, he would permit the congregation to place a clock on the
Humor | Money | Preaching | Sermons | Stewardship | Time Read More »
ONE GREETING FITS ALL Here is a voice mail greeting by a college student who developed a somewhat inconsistent view of stewardship: “Hi. This is John. If you are the
Deceit | Humor | Hypocrisy | Inconsistency | Money | Perspective | Stewardship Read More »
MEDITATE ON HEAT The pastor stood reverently at the pulpit, bowed his head, and spoke to his congregation: “Before we take our offering, let’s all bow our heads and meditate
Gift | Giving | Humor | Meditation | Money | Offerings | Stewardship Read More »
SANTA BANK QUESTION: Where does Santa Clause keep his money to buy all those toys? ANSWER: Santa keeps his money in a snow-bank!
Banks | Humor | Money | Puns | Santa | Savings Read More »
EQUALLY CHEATED In the “Born Loser,” two fellows meet and one asks the other: “Buy a genuine gold Swiss watch for fifty bucks?” The second guy says, “All I’ve got’s
Cheating | Deceit | Dishonesty | Humor | Money | Perspective | Stewardship Read More »
GIVER’S LAST REQUEST The pastor was visiting one of his congregants who lay dying in the hospital. The pastor leaned over the bed and asked the man, “Is there anything
Death | Gift | Humor | Money | Offerings | Pledges | Stewardship Read More »
THE COLLECTION CONNECTION One of the members of our pastors’ study group may have hit on an excellent idea for healthy church- state relations in these difficult economic times. “The
Church | Collections | Gift | Giving | Humor | Money | Offerings | Stewardship Read More »
SEVEN DAY ABSENTIST Question: What do you call someone who does not attend church? Answer: A seven day absentist. Adapted from a submission by John Fitts, Palm Harbor, Florida
Attendance | Church | Denominations | Faithfulness | Humor | Perspective | Priorities Read More »
BAD NEWS- -GOOD NEWS–BAD NEWS The pastor stood before his congregation and made the following announcement: “Folks, I have bad news and good news and bad news. The bad news:
Announcements | Gift | Giving | Humor | Money | Offerings | Priorities | Stewardship Read More »
GOBBLE PROPHECY Gobble, gobble, gobble, “Ain’t it odd,” you say, The only word the turkey knows to say, Precurses his fate on the tray. By Steve Hodgin, taken from The
Desire | Food | Humor | Perspective | Prophecy | Thanks | Thanksgiving | Turkeys Read More »
COMPARATIVE THANKFULNESS Eight-year-old Tommy was invited to a neighbor’s home for supper. The neighbor asked little Tommy, “Are you sure you can cut your meat, Tommy?” Tommy answered, “Oh yes,
NOT A TURKEY It was the week of the Thanksgiving holiday, and the teacher asked her kindergarten students, “Tell me something you have to be thankful for?” One young child
TIME FOR A DIET You know you need to go on a diet when a child runs up to you while you are watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and
Appearance | Appearances | Diets | Food | Health | Humor | Misc | Weight Read More »
IN ANY LANGUAGE The high school freshman came home from school and proudly said to his father, “Dad, guess what? I can say ‘thank you’ in Spanish!” The father looked
Appealing Talk | Communication | Humor | Knowledge | Languages | Thanks | Thanksgiving Read More »
LIVE COMPLAINERS One evening a man stopped by the animal hospital to pick up his cat. An elderly handyman working there asked, “How are you today?” “Terrible,” the man said.
NOT THANKFUL FOR A little girl kneeling by the side of her bed looked up to heaven and prayed, “And now I’d like to tell you about some of the
Children | Complain | Complaints | Humor | Prayer | Thanks | Thanksgiving Read More »
LIMITED GRATITUDE A couple of fellows were walking down the street, when one said to the other, “Hey, that girl smiled at me.” His friend answered him: “Don’t be too
Appearance | Gratitude | Humor | Mocking | Praise | Pride | Ridicule | Thanks Read More »
SPACE TURKEY If NASA sends a turkey into space, what sound would it make? I suppose: “Hubble, hubble, hubble.”
Astronauts | Humor | Jokes | Misc | Space | Technology | Turkeys Read More »
TWO OF DAVE’S TOP TEN On Dave Letterman’s Late Show on November 25, 1994 Dave read his top ten list. He told the top ten “Things Overheard at the Macy’s
Appearance | Appearances | Humor | Misc | Parades | Sports | Thanksgiving Read More »
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