NOT REALLY SUITABLE An old lady went to a tombstone-cutter’s office to order a stone for her husband’s grave. After explaining that all she wanted was a small one with […]
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HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE Historian Arnold J. Toynbee at age eighty said: “To be mortal is not any means wholly disadvantageous. When I catch myself resenting not being immortal, I pull myself
Adversity | Eternal Life | Heaven | Humor Read More »
WHY AN UNDERTAKER? The inquiring reporter asked the young woman why she wanted to be a mortician. “Because,” she said, “I enjoy working with people.” San Francisco Chronicle
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HOW TO LIVE So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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HOW MANY? The census taker knocked on the door of a backwoods shack. An old timer came out, asking what he wanted. “The President has sent us across the country
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COMMUNICATION Annie Dillard’s book reminded me of the old joke about the fellow who goes to the lumber yard and asks for some four-by-two’s. The clerk says, “You mean two-by-fours,
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THE EIGHTIES WOMAN Woman to date: “Tell me, Donald, do you think I’m too aggressive? I want a straight answer and I want it now.” Cotham in Cosmopolitan
Authority | Courage | Dating | Humor | Love Read More »
WHERE IT COMES FROM “Be especially careful of this dining-room table,” the woman told the men refinishing her floors. “It goes back to Louis the Fourteenth.” A man replied, “Don’t
Communication | Humor | Perspective | Stewardship | Understanding Read More »
TIMING The warden explained to the condemned man that he could have anything he wanted for his last meal. “Would you like lobster? Filet mignon or beef Wellington? Maybe some
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MET A CHRISTIAN? A father was teaching his son what a Christian should be like. When the lesson was over, the father got a stab he never forgot. The little
Character | Children | Evangelism | Example | Father | Humor Read More »
FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES It was a blistering hot day, the house was full of guests, and things weren’t going too well. Finally, the hostess got everyone seated for
Appealing Talk | Children | Honesty | Humor | Truth Read More »
WHO GOD SPEAKS THROUGH We always find it more acceptable to have God speaking to us directly rather than through our wives! But we may learn a great deal by
Guidance | Humor | Marriage | Perspective | Understanding Read More »
IT’S A PUZZLE What do butterflies get in their stomachs when they are nervous? Mary H. Waldrip in Dawson County, GA, Advertiser
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PERSPECTIVE The first grader came home one day and told his father, “They’ve got a magic record player at school.” “Yes?” quizzed the father. “Yep,” replied the little one, “It
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RETIREMENT The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
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PARTING SHOT When your children stop asking where they came from and start refusing to tell you where they are going, you know they’re growing up. Corner Stones
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JARGON COMMUNICATION We always try to keep our Field Sales personnel updated as to what is going on in the Food Service industry. This includes not only reporting what has
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WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG A young soldier was learning to parachute. He was given the following instructions: (A) Jump when you are told; (B) Count ten and pull the ripcord;
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SMILE W.C. Fields said: “Smile first thing in the morning and get it over with.”
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PERSPECTIVE Albert Einstein’s secretary once asked him to explain to her the theory of relativity. He replied, “Two hours with a beautiful woman seems like two minutes. Two minutes on
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