MISPLACED ENCOURAGEMENT For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: You are not getting older, You are just getting better. Asked how he wanted the […]
MARRIAGE IS A GAMBLE Marriage is a gamble. You start with a pair. He shows a diamond. She shows a heart. Her father has a club. His father has a
SOUND SYSTEM TOO GOOD The church was having trouble with it’s sound system and decided to upgrade with a more powerful, sophisticated system and add a couple more speakers. The
MAUI MACDONALDS Recently, a man in our congregation was making plans with his wife for how they would like to celebrate their anniversary. He asked her where she would like
ALL CUT THE SAME SIZE A young man was helping his mother serve pie to his father and their guests at the dinner table. Each time the boy brought another
SURE SIGN OF INTELLIGENT LIFE The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. By Bill Waterson of “Calvin
WEDDING LUNCH BOXES At the end of the wedding receiving line were two young children distributing little white boxes that looked a bit like lunch boxes. Several good chocolate candies
WATER IN MODERATION Mark Twain: Water taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.
RELATED TO KING KONG In an attempt to impress his date, a college student told her that he could trace his roots back to royalty. The young lady was already
Boredom | Criticism | Dating | Honor | Humor | Impressions | Insults | Pride | Speech Read More »
BULLY TELLS THE TEACHER There were times in kindergarten when things got rough for Ned. “There’s one boy at school what’n I don’t like.” “Why?” “Him always picks on me.”
ANOTHER LIGHT BULB JOKE Q: How many United Methodist preachers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. What did you expect? (But it takes twelve of
BURNED BY THE BUSH George Bush finally died and went to heaven. Things seemed to go quite well in heaven. Everyone was so friendly and caring- -except one person. George
WALKING NAKED He wasn’t nude, but the mayor of North Platte, Neb., did keep his promise to walk Naked down the street. Mayor Jim Whitaker said he’d walk “naked” if
TAXING THE WHOLE WORLD The Sunday School teacher began the lesson with a review of what they had learned last week. The teacher asked, “Who decreed that the whole world
TWISTED TOAST Here’s to you, as good as you are. /Here’s to me as bad as I am. As good as you are and as bad as I am, I’m
BRILLIANT DEDUCTION Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, tells a story on himself: As he tells it, he was waiting for a taxi outside
TAXATION SCAM At the risk of being audited this year, I submit the following satire by C. Richard Stone: SCAM ALERT! WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!!! If you
Y2K DELAY Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system “Windows 2000” will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.
Computers | Delays | Excuses | Failure | Humor | Technology | Time Read More »
Y-ZERO-K PROBLEM FROM: Plutonius in Rome DATE: January 18, 1 B.C. MESSAGE: Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD
Calendars | Change | Humor | Problems | Solutions | Time | Trial | Understanding Read More »
HELPING THE PRESIDENT A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems
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