CHRISTMAS BRAND NAMES Chuck Crammer's poetic commentary about the holiday season: Lord... and Taylor, Ben Franklin, J.C. Penney, Macys, Gumps, Shreve, Crump, low-watt crock pot. Our Father... expects multiplex, mother mentioned molinex, Pyrex, Proctor Silex,…
Sermon Illustrations
A WILLING CHURCH Sadly, the major purpose of today's Church has become survival. We must ask ourselves some questions. Are we the Church Jesus wants us to be? Are we willing to become such a…
ACCEPTING DISCIPLINE My dad often used to comment that "the same sun that melts wax hardens clay." In the same way, discipline from the Lord produces in some people a sweetness and a maturity; but…
BILLY BOY? Remember the jazz musician, Billy Tipton? When he died at the age of 74 in 1989, the paramedics discovered that he was really a woman. No one knew that in reality Billy Tipton…
HE GAVE A WARM BLANKET "What did the preacher preach about this morning?" the mother asked of her young son. "The preacher said that the Lord was going to give us a warm blanket." "I…
INTRODUCTION TO POLITICS Harry Truman, talking politics with a group of Yale students, was asked by one earnest youth, "How do I start in politics, sir?" Replied the former President, "You've already started. You're spending…
LAST WORDS St. Thomas More, on the way to his execution, came to the scaffold and turned to the executioner and said, "Would you mind helping me up, I can get down by myself."
THE MIRROR'S REVENGE Childhood: When you make funny faces in the mirror. Middle Age: When the mirror gets even. From the bulletin of the Rotary Club of Atlantic, Iowa
SOURCE OF TROUBLE Most trouble in the world is caused by people who want to be important. As quoted by T.S. Eliot
NOW IS THE TIME FOR TRUST An old banker in a rural Arkansas town was being interviewed for the local paper. "How did you get started in the banking business?" the reporter asked. "Twas simple,"…
THE SCENT OF THE ROSE The scent of the rose for pardon The song of the birds for mirth I am closer to God in my garden Than anywhere else on earth. Anonymous from Artists…
HAND IN HAND It's nice to be needed, and do you know why? We must all depend on the other guy. You can work yourself right down to the bone, But you certainly can't get…
SAVE THE TRUTH FOR LOVE Tell your lies to strangers - Save the truth for the ones you love. By Garrison Keilor, American Radio Company, "The News from Lake Wobegon," October 17, 1992
IN YOUR FACE, THEOLOGIANS October 28, 1992 - My twelve year old son Ryan walks out and gets the newspaper. I am sitting in the other room, but I can hear him leafing through the…
MOTHER THERESA'S IDENTITY Regarding her personal identity, the following is a quote from Mother Theresa: "By blood and origin, I am all Albanian. My citizenship is Indian. I am a Catholic nun. As to my…
EVANGELISTIC CROWS Our family keeps a stock of sugar beets and corn by the edge of the woods behind our house to feed the deer. We enjoy watching the deer feed every evening. One day…
PARDON REFUSED During the presidency of Andrew Jackson, George Wilson, a postal clerk, robbed a federal payroll from a train and in the process killed a guard. The Court convicted him and sentenced him to…
PRAYERFUL PARROTS A priest had two parrots. The parrots were also very devout. They prayed the rosary every day. The priest had an aunt who also had a parrot. But this parrot used to say…
THE UMPIRE PLACE St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. With a beguiling leer, Satan proposed a game (to be played on neutral grounds) between a select team from the…
THE FOOTBALL SERVICE Quarterback Sneak: Church members who quietly exit following the Lord's Supper, a quarter of the way through the service, or near the last quarter of the service. Draft Choice: Selection of a…
