COURTROOM QUESTIONS #1 Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials: Question 1: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person…
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COURTROOM QUESTIONS #2 Question: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Answer: No. Question: Did you check for blood pressure? Answer: No. Question: Did you check for breathing? Answer: No.…
WHAT WE GIVE UP We have a word for priorities . . . things we choose to do first. We need a word for posteriorities...things we will give up in order to do what must…
NOT FOR TWENTY POUNDS Rees led a Bible study in a distant Welsh village. Every night he walked two miles each way to minister, after a twelve-hour day in the mines. One night he came…
UNBORING BOAR A farmer wanted to breed his three sows. He had a friend who owned a few boars, so they made arrangements to get the sows and boars together. One afternoon the farmer loaded…
REAL SACRIFICE President Wilson once received a call in the middle of the night that informed him that one of his appointees had just died. The sleepy president muttered his sorrow, "That is too bad."…
BINGO PRAYER Two atheists were flying in a single-engine airplane when it was struck by lightning. Faced with certain death, the atheists grasped for hope and turned to God. The problem they both had is…
CHILDLIKE HAPPINESS It's never too late to have a happy childhood. By Tom Robbins
SERMON SOLUTION Some people think a thirty-minute sermon is too long, so they substitute a three hundred-column Sunday paper or a three-hour movie or ball game.
FLASH WAS WEAK A photographer heard that there was a haunted house in which a ghost would appear once every hundred years. He was not so sure, but he was willing to take a shot…
ALMOST FULL BLOODED A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward, he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native…
RIGHT-HANDED SINNERS Those of us who are proud southpaws will enjoy the amusing-- and absolutely gospel-true and accurate--story told by Mark F. Breuner, a professional football player for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Mark is a southpaw…
GOD MESSED UP LANGUAGE A mother was driving her two daughters home from a Christian school when the twelve-year-old daughter asked, "Mother, what language did they speak in the Garden of Eden?" Before her mother…
RECONCILIATION LETTERS On the campus of Baylor University in Waco, Texas is the library containing the works of Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Elizabeth's parents so disapproved of her marriage to Robert that they disowned…
WANDERING MIND "Oh, Doctor, I'm so upset," said the woman. "My husband seems to be wandering in his mind." "Don't let that worry you," the doctor replied. "I know your husband, and he can't go…
FREE AS A KITE A number of years ago a kite that was out of control ignited the Santa Ynez Mountains during one summer and the flames destroyed 234 luxury homes in Santa Barbara and…
WHAT'S UP WITH JONAH? To Jonah God spoke up, /But the prophet then rose up, And the wrong way was booked up. When he wanted to rest up, A big storm then blew up. After…
BAITING NERDS A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying: NERDS NOT ALLOWED ENTER AT YOUR…
DEAR PASTOR LETTERS Here are some "Dear Pastor" letters: Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold, Age 8, Nashville Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon…
KNOW THE GOAL Duffy Daugherty, for many years the football coach at Michigan State University tells of Dave Kaiser's winning field goal against UCLA. The game was in Los Angeles and the field goal gave…
