DIRTY & CLEAN What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. -- Will Rogers
Sermon Illustrations
CHEWS A NAME The substitute teacher was teaching a new class for the very first day. She noticed a boy in the front of the room who was moving his jaws in a chewing fashion.…
PARENTING DEFINITIONS DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.…
INNER PEACE ATTAINED To attain inner peace you must actually give your life, not just your possessions. When you at last give your life--bringing into alignment your beliefs and the way you live--then, and only…
DAFFYNITIONS In an attempt to further our communication and vocabulary skills, we submit these ten new words: 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off…
WORLD WITHOUT MEN Several women were sitting around a table and their conversations turned to the loss of their husbands by death. Most of them were widows. One woman told the others that her husband…
GOD IS A TOWER The storms that hit the Texas coast sometimes would seem to blow down any tower, but the Bolivar Lighthouse has withstood the worst. A hurricane on September 7, 1900 hit with…
PHILOSOPHY & ETHICS James D. Diamond remembers the legendary Father Joseph S. Hogan, S. J. (who died in 1961) of St. Joseph's College (now University) in Philadelphia. On one of his walks he was interrupted…
CHILD'S MEALTIME BLESSING Thank you Lord, for the food we eat. Thank you Lord, for the clothes we wear. Thank you Lord for everything, And all Thy loving care.AmenFrom Ralph Holt, a prayer he prayed…
GREAT SAYINGS OF BIBLICAL MOTHERS: 1 0. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don't know where it's been! (Judges 14:5-8) 9. David! I told you not to play in the house with…
LIKABLE LETHARGY When I was a teenager, I was dating a Methodist pastor's daughter. One Sunday I was invited to their home after church for dinner. While the pastor's wife and daughters were finishing dinner…
INSTALLMENTS OF SUCCESS Success cannot be purchased outright. You have to get in on the installment plan.
SMACK THAT BABY! An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except…
TWO GARDENS The Bible is the story of two gardens. Eden and Gethsemane. In the first, Adam took a fall. In the second, Jesus took a stand. In the first, God sought Adam. In the…
UPWARD LIFT OF PRAYER Her prayer is like a new-fledged bird/That cannot flutter to its tree; But God will lift it, having heard, Up to the nest where it would be.William Canton, originally appeared in…
FAVORITE INTERNATIONAL PIZZAS Maybe extra cheese or pepperoni is enough for your pizza, but not in other parts of the world. -Food & Wine magazine reports that in Japan, squid is the most popular topping…
DON'T LOOK DOWN One of the scariest jobs a novice seaman was asked to do on old- time sailing ships was to climb the mast and unfurl or repair the sails in the top rigging.…
DIME A DOESN'T Those who "no can do" are a dime a doesn't.
Choice | Desire | Failure | Failures | Persistence | Resolutions | Statistics | Success | Temptation
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS Studies show that people who make successful New Year resolutions slip fourteen times over the first two years, but they refuse to let a slip turn into a fall.
KILLER IN THE CURE A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. A woman called in and was quite upset. She had caught her little daughter eating ants. The…
