GOOFY SIGNS Life magazine reported that the European Community asked 1165 translators to contribute the best examples of signs and labels in fractured English they had come across in their travels. Here is a sampling:/An…
Sermon Illustrations
COLSON'S CONVERSION Former President Nixon's "hatchet man" Chuck Colson found the presence of Christ. Here is how he described his life without Christ in an interview in Christian Century some time back: "I had arrived…
A WHOLE NEW REASON There was a college sophomore from Houston who thought it would be great to actually work on a working ranch in West Texas to help earn his college expenses. He picked…
A LOVE LETTER A DAY A young man was determined to win the affection of a girl who refused to even see him. He decided that the way to her heart was through the mail.…
A TIME OF DEATH February 26, 1994 was a day like any other day to much of the world. But to the folks who live in Springdale, Arkansas it was a day of mourning. For…
CROSS-BRED ATHEIST Question: What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Answer: A person who knocks on your door for absolutely no reason at all.
PLEASANT WORDS Our pastor was teaching Proverbs 16:24 -- "Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones." The minister then added, "You can catch more flies with honey…
REPETITIOUS INSANITY Conrad Lowe said that a psychiatrist friend told him, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting that sometime you will get a different result." When you visit…
GOD AS OWNER Lord means ownership. "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. The world and they that dwell therein, for he hath founded it upon the seas and established it upon the…
TWO PURITAN QUESTIONS A Puritan once said, "There are only two things I want to know: Does God speak, and what does He say?" Source Unknown
I WISH I WOULD HAVE LISTENED Bishop Ray Seilhamer, writing in the United Brethren in Christ May newsletter, notes: "Earlier this year, a Christian rap group called DC Talk performed at the Christian Family Center…
INTRICATE IN-LAWS From New York Newsday, "Former Rolling Stone Bill Wyman's son is to marry Bill's ex-wife's mother. Wyman's son from a previous marriage, Stephen, age 30 announced his engagement to Patsy Smith, age 46,…
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE A man walked into the drug store and asked the pharmacist if he had a cure for hiccups. The pharmacist walked around the corner and approached the man. He reached out and…
GOD IS HUMBLE Humility is one aspect of our Lord's character we seldom consider. Christians remark on God's so-called communicable attributes -- his holiness, his veracity, his love - - but we rarely reflect on…
REALIST OR SKEPTIC A realist is an idealist who has gone through the fire and been purified. A skeptic is an idealist who has gone through the fire and been burned. There's a difference. Warren…
SPURGEON ON THE PULPIT If there is a place under high heaven more holy than another, it is the pulpit in which the gospel is preached. This is the Thermopylae of Christendom; here must the…
THE PROBLEM WITH PRESENTS Have you ever noticed the difference between toddlers and older children on Christmas morning? Both are fascinated by presents under the tree, but for different reasons. The smaller the child the…
LOW- MAINTENANCE KISSES A woman who was approaching her four-score and ten years was always blessed with little gifts from her friends and relatives for her birthday and Christmas which were usually in the form…
THE LAW OF GODLY PROGRESS The law of progress in God's Kingdom is "from strength to strength" (Ps. 84:7); "from faith to faith" (Rom. 1:17); and "from glory to glory" (2 Cor. 3:18). Myer Pearlman
DOUBLING WASTED EFFORTS A British pastor was talking to someone about their outreach program. How they were contacting new families and winning new families to their church. He said proudly, "Last year we visited two…
