PUT OR PUTT Golfers were surveyed to determine what the difference is between the word "put" and the word "putt." The most common definition given was that "put" means to place an object where you…
Sermon Illustrations
UPSTAIRS BLONDES Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the…
STRANGERS INTO FRIENDS Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.
CHOSEN TO CHEER Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me…
TEACHER & PARENT PACT A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not…
VULTURE AIRLINES Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
STURGIS WITNESS Sturgis, South Dakota is not without its Christian witness every year when over a third of a million bikers gather at the annual motorcycle rally in August. In 1999 one such witness was…
NASTY BUG A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes…
COMMUTER AILMENT A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern City and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. To make the…
FOLLY OF FITNESS My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where she is. The only reason I would take up jogging is so…
CONCERT OF GOD'S JOY We are all strings in the concert of God's Joy. From Live, September 14, 1997
BETTER CANDY One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and…
JOYFUL FORCE FIELD The joy of the Lord is a force field that insulates against the destructive, draining spirit of this age. A layer of love keeps the infection of despair off us. From Fresh…
PRECISION WRITING Reading makes a broad man, but writing makes an exact man. -- English essayist, Francis Bacon
COST OF THE COAT A protester outside a fur shop said to the woman in the fur coat: "What innocent creature had to suffer and die so that you can have that coat?" The woman…
CONCERTED ALARM A man was dragged to a concert by his wife. In the middle of the concert, his wife nudged him and said, "Look over there. So and so is sleeping." The man replied,…
CASTRO'S GRATITUDE Years ago, Castro was at the United Nations. He fell into the water and was rescued by a Jewish boy. Castro asked how he could show the boy his gratitude. The boy answered,…
BAD BARNEY MOVIE An older brother was telling his younger brother about the new Barney movie. "They're making a new movie about Barney, but the movie has a terrible, tragic ending: Barney survives."
NOT LOSING A DAUGHTER Said the mother of the bride, "I'm not losing a daughter. I'm gaining a bathroom and a telephone."
BOOGER BLOOPER This one was reported as a true story. Too bad for some mommy. Here is the story: As I was trying to pack for vacation, my three-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time…
